“Darkside Zodiac: When You’re Born Under a Bad Star” by Stella Hyde (2004 edition)

"Before you buy, look at the title on the cover. What does it say? Darkside. That means you are going to be reading some wince-making stuff about yourself. There are no jolly Brightside platitudes, because there is enough of that kind of thing in the world and every silver lining must have its cloud. You have been warned; anybody who is but a fragile blossom on life's maelstrom had better put the book down now!

Heed the dire warning from the introduction to this hilarious expose of the less-nice aspects of astrological destiny. Explore all twelve signs, along with rising signs, the role of the Moon, the psychotic duo of Mars and Venus, plus opposite signs, and elements and qualities. Find out why Geminis rate a whopping A++ on the Bitch Rating scale, why Taureans will always get a date, and why Pisceans really need that dream job in Fantasy World. And Virgos are, well, never wrong, of course, while Saggitarians make lousy criminals. Although Librans can gladly indulge in every deadly sin, vanity, greed, and sloth are their definite favorites.

Aren't Cancerians fed up with being the mothers of the universe? Don't Leos become weary of being told they're just fun-loving party animals? Does a girl—or boy—ever get to flash their mean streak? Well, of course they do. And here is the book that exposes the hidden underside of the stars. When Mr. Manners is away, Scorpios are sex-=mad control freaks; Capricorns are bean-counting misanthropes; Aries are head-banging psychos; and Aquarians can't wait to be beamed back to the mothership.

But this is no mere humor book. Author Stella Hyde backs it all up with years of astrological study and practice. Hyde, who has written more conventional popular astrology, has always felt zodiac groupies get off too lightly, served up Pollyanna versions of themselves. She thinks everyone should be make to confront their own evil twin. She would. She herself is, unsurprisingly, a grudge-bearing Cancer.

Turn to the Darkside Zodiac any time you're feeling dark or when your partner, friends, coworkers, kids, boss, or anyone else annoys you. You'll find solace in the fact that not everyone is perfect in love, work, or daily life. And remember that the Darkside often hides golden drops of wisdom."

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